I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
