you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
