I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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