I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
