its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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