U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
