Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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