I'm going to jail i love you
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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