gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize