I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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