who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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