were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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