I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
