I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
