"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
