im drinking this country out of the recession.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the day after is always just damage control
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I need moral support for this bender
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
