After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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