Tell her she can't have a vagina
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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