so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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