I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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