your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
send nudes
from the living room?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
