shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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