I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
