Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
