So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
