Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Sober January is a disaster.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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