This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
