this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
