forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's official drugs can't kill me
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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