Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
