I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
