Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize