After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize