i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
