Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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