my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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