If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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