We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
