i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
