He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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