put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
