doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So squirting runs in the family.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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