True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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