Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
