Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My penis needs a shock collar
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
