i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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