Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
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