Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.

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(917): View more from New York City

im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out

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(419): View more from Ohio

A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.

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(562): View more from California

guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".

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(315): View more from New York

Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.

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(512): View more from Texas

So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch

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