he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up