I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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