remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.