i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.