I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
