do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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