ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
