im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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