people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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