I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize