The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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