Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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