just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
4 words: hood of his car
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
