Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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