I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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