I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize